| One step forward, NO fall back |
[28 Feb 2009|02:36pm] |
Since last week, I've asked myself multiple times if what I did was the RIGHT thing to do. In many ways, I don't feel like it was, but then I tell myself, the way she handled wasn't the right way either, so I feel like I'm ok to be at fault. All the lies I listened to for that weekend, and possibly longer, told me everything I needed to know. Care? What care was there... In the week since, I have not checked up on her status, her life, nothing. I could care less, much like how she didn't give a shit when she threw it all away in a matter of 2 days to start something new.
Now that I've got that off my chest, I can finally focus on me. This week has been stellar (the weekend was rough, and thankfully THON was there to prevent TOO MUCH depression), and I'm so excited for the weekend. My sunday morning shift was subbed, so today consists of State Patty's Day Celebration. I have gotten through my week of tests and I'm pretty much in the clear for spring break. I have a basketball game to play for this evening, then I'll be heading out with Michele and Dan to party all night (hopefully all night, not too sure). Then I can sleep in tomorrow before work, then back to work on group project/individual work for SRA/IST.
Then this week is pretty light, but I'm gonna try to get a jump on grabbing resources for my projects cuz I need to do some studying over spring break unfortunately. My spring break starts Saturday officially (will probably have to stay Friday night for a senior con shift), and it lasts til Wednesday, when I leave for the Big Ten Men's Basketball Tournament. Should be an awesome time out there :). I'll actually have an iPod to listen to on the bus finally! I'm taking my laptop too I think...
Anyway, off to the computer lab, then to get a bite to eat before the basketball games. :)
-Moser
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[07 Feb 2009|08:30am] |
Interesting week coming up...
My father has his surgery on Monday. He's having it at Mt. Nittany up here to get his first knee replaced, which should mean, after it's all done, he can come to more of the football games next year and just be able to walk easier.. I hope to see him either Monday or Tuesday before he goes home to see how he's doing. My mom is the deciding factor on the day, so we know how he's feeling on Monday if he'd want a visit. He gets his other knee done sometime a month later.
I have some meetings this week for SRA club to attend, and a good deal of homework that will need to be finished eventually this week. I have to get it done before the weekend, especially religious studies, cuz my weekend is already planned out.
It's Valentine's Day, and I haven't spent one alone in awhile, so I need to get my head off this holiday. Therefore, I'm going with Eric, Chelsey, and Michele to Lebanon Valley College. Michele is driving us there. We'll see Kristin perform, and just get to chill out with her that evening. After spending the night there, we will return to Happy Valley on Sunday. Should be an amazing time :)
The weekend after Valentine's weekend is THON weekend. FTK! I hope to spend a lot of my time over there, especially on Saturday. Unfortunately, I'm gonna miss when they reveal how much they earned for the Four Diamonds Fund, but I'll post that workshift and hope I can get over there for it.
Other than that, life's been all right. I've been focusing on my schoolwork and myself. My knee almost feels completely better, but I should have done some biking on it to help it along faster. My friends up here have been great, making sure I'm all right, and I try to return the favor whenever I can. Other friends who aren't up here have been lending me support as well and trying to keep me smiling. I haven't found my true smile yet, but I can feel it coming again. Everyday gets a little easier.
I realize eventually I will be able to talk to her again. I just need to build myself back up first.
-Mike
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[06 Feb 2009|04:11pm] |
Some thoughts have run through my head the past couple of days. Some serious thinking was done...
At first, I saw this breakup as the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and admittably, it probably is. At first, I was gonna sit there and wait it out, hope that maybe something would happen again to reignite our relationship. I was a mess like that. I tried to keep contact alive, and realized that soon, I couldn't do that. If she was dating this new guy, it would hurt me while we were talking, and I also want her to experience life without me in it.
Now, I fully understand what it's like to be single again. It does, indeed, suck. I've thought it over in my head a lot, and realized she probably isn't coming back. The other question is, if she did come back, could I trust her again? Back in December, when she started studying with this guy, I put my full trust into it, and I see where that got me. So I don't know if I could have that trust again, because it's been broken.
The other reason I'm finally realizing I can't wait on her is that I don't want to be a safety net. If things don't work out there, I don't want to be something she can fall into and know that everything is all right. She needs to feel the full consequences of her decision, should she ever feel that way.
While I can't shut the door completely to the chance of us getting back together, I can open up more options for myself. I'm getting out more, I'm seeing more people. I'm not looking for love yet, but I am starting to build some relationships that, when it feels right, I can possibly try.
Though I may feel communication is possible now, I can't do it. I'll let her contact me when she needs me until I'm ready to finally get ahold of her myself. When that may be, I can't say.
I'm moving on with my life
-Mike
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[30 Jan 2009|08:01am] |
Well, it's been made facebook official now...
I don't know if she reads this still, but I want to take a wild guess she still does to see what's going on in my life. For my own sake, I need to make it private from her after today because I can't let her see what's going on in my life. I need to block her out of my life, like what was starting to happen to me with hers. I didn't hear the other side of her life, so I have to keep her out of the other side of my life while she's in this relationship. It's better for her not to see the emotional wreck I have become so she can enjoy her time with her new boyfriend.
This last journal entry is mostly an "I'm sorry". I'm sorry I didn't notice all the signs earlier. You started hanging out with him back in December, and I shrugged it off thinking everything was OK. The holidays made me think it was all ok as well. Then, as soon as we're back at school, she breaks it off little over a week back. I keep telling myself I did nothing wrong for this, but it just feels like I had to make the mistake somewhere. It seemed surreal, ending our 4 year relationship to try something new. We had always been talking about marriage, our future together, our jobs we might have, how many pets we might keep... She must have really loved this other guy, or maybe just wanted me for that last break home...
I had my proposal all planned out, and now that it's not gonna happen apparently, I might as well say it here. The plan was to purchase the ring over spring break, and talk to her parents, since she'd have been at school. That summer, I'd visit. We'd go to a nice dinner, hopefully have an evening concert of the Pittsburgh Symphony, then spend the night at a hotel. Somewhere in there would be my proposal. But all of that is thrown to waste now. My future seemed so clear, and now so vague.
I thought I knew love... I thought I had found it, and my friends let me know that I had found love, just that she probably didn't, or she is just trying to ignore it. Whatever the case, I couldn't make her happy anymore. I DO NOT regret my college choice, but the distance is probably what did it to us. I fall back on my family at times like this, and even they don't understand what happened.
The girl I loved has changed obviously, and there's nothing I'll ever be able to do about it. They say true love can last through times like this. While I'm sure what I'm feeling may be true love, maybe she didn't have the same feelings.
If she's reading this, then I want to let her know that I still love her. I'm working on burying that, but I don't think it will ever disappear. I hope she's happy with whatever future she picks, even if it can't be with me. I still cry at night... I don't think I've had a peaceful sleep since that night... But I'm not yours to care about anymore. I know you want to be my friend, but we can't have that if all I want is something more at this point.
It is for these reasons I must state here that over spring break, I'm not sure visiting me is the greatest idea, especially if you're still in your relationship. It's not fair to the guy you're currently dating to visit your ex so soon, nor will it help me much since I probably will still be feeling the effects of this when that time comes. For these same reasons, you'll find I won't be visiting over spring break. I don't know your friends enough, nor do I think I could see you without doing something that would upset your boyfriend.
After today, the contact is truly over between us. Everything. Plurk I'll be done with to avoid your mom seeing how I'm feeling. Facebook I'll be removing you and your duquesne friends to avoid them seeing my statuses and how I'm doing. Livejournal will be friends posts, with you removed from my friends list on here. AIM has already been blocked. I'm cutting out my heart and locking it away, because as much as I love you, I can't ruin what you want to try and I can't do this to myself anymore. The only way you will be able to reach me is now through phonecalls. The more I see you happy with this new guy, the more it breaks my heart, so I have to avoid watching it unfold.
I hope the measures I'm taking to keep myself from going completely miserable will not destroy our friendship. If it does, I'm sorry it has to end that way. I will talk to you again at some point, but I do not know when that point will be.
Goodbye, and I hope everything works out for you the best. I love you...
-Mike
P.S. I have not been knocked down much in my life. It takes a lot to make me fall. For that matter, I am not used to picking myself up. Mark my words: I will pick myself up. I will move on eventually. For now, I heal.
"Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt one year six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget
I'm falling into memories of you,and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you
I can tell that you don't know me anymore
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget
I'm falling into memories of you,and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you
So many nights, legs tangled tight
Wrap me up in a dream with you
Close up these eyes, try not to cry
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you
I'm falling into memories of you ,and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that we can share
Falling into memories of you, and things we used to do"
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[29 Jan 2009|12:54pm] |
The chances of us getting back together are pretty much zilch now, from what I gathered from my email back yesterday. I've realized that today. The plan is still to continue working on myself for atleast 2 weeks, then to start searching for someone else. I've cut off contact for the moment, and won't return contact til I'm in or about to start a relationship with someone else. The ball is literally in her court now. That's the plan. It could take way longer than this semester, but if so, so be it. She knows she can call if she needs me.
Other than that, today's been a nice start to my new life. I woke up this morning, went to class, Eric came over and we went to work out at the gym, then grabbed lunch and played a little castle crashers before work. Now I'm sitting in SRA 231, and will be at IST 210 afterwards.
Tonight is a Virtualization presentation. I'm hoping to take my laptop, learn how to partition for virtual box, and eventually get Windows 7 which I heard is MUCH better than Vista. I want to try the beta.
That's my plans. This weekend I'm going partying :) Should be a trombone party on Saturday, then of course, the superbowl party on Sunday. I'm also working on something for Friday, though I can't stay out late fridays with work on saturday mornings. I gotta start going to these parties to get my mind off of her and start focusing on another girl. I already have a few in mind I'd like to start getting to know a little better, but not til I feel like I'm ready, which won't be for another 2-3 weeks at the earliest.
Bye world
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[28 Jan 2009|10:45am] |
Today was a day I dreaded since Friday, January 16th. I avoided it for as long as I can, but my heart couldn't take it anymore. There's a huge hole in my heart from this break-up, and it's time to start filling it.
I tried to leave a space there, in case it was only momentary, but it already feels like she's moved on and is ready for something new. I don't want to be the burden anymore. I can't be a friend at a time like this. A friend helps to support decisions, and help people through them. I've never supported this one, and I tried to make it seem like I was ok with it.
I really wasn't.
I need to start working on something new. I'm not ready for another relationship yet, but I need to get out there and meet new girls. I need to possibly start dating, finding out what can replace her, if anything.
My future has become rather foggy. For a time, I stood there, waiting for the sun to break the fog, but it never came. Now I wander aimlessly ahead.
I do not know how long it would take. I would love to have her back in my arms, but that's not a possibility. It's not my choice, and I wouldn't want her to come back because of what I want. I want her to come back because of what she wants. If she doesn't, then she's made the choice based on her wants in life.
I thought I could be a friend... I can't right now. I don't want to hinder her future. I tried to write this off at first as being like when I took a break in junior year of high school. I realize now that it's totally not the same. 10 months can't compare to the 3 years we had after that to top it off. Nearly 4 years of dating can't be compared to a break at 10 months. We weren't talking about marriage or houses, or any of that lovey dovey stuff when we were in junior year of high school. We started that in college, and that's why it's perhaps the hardest for me to do this.
At the moment, seeing her happy brings a little bit of a smile to my face, but breaks my heart too. Maybe in the future, when I talk to her after we've got our futures set, I can smile about what has happened to her since then.
Maybe one day, the paths will cross again, and we'll both be single and try this again. But I have no map, I can't tell when that will be. For now, I need to travel my own way and see what the future holds. I can't stare at her face when I open my wallet, or tears start to well up in my eyes. The picture of us from senior prom that used to be displayed proudly in my room is in the drawer, along with the lion statue she bought me.
I cried a lot today, but I know it will be better in the long run. She can continue her life without me holding her back, and I can start to move forward, rather than standing still.
-Mike
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[26 Jan 2009|03:00pm] |
Today has started well.
I woke up and went to religious studies. I felt bad for the girls I was sitting next to, cuz my stomach was rumbling really loudly. I had tried to go without breakfast that morning cuz I was gonna eat right after math, but since I was apparently hungry, I went and grabbed a bagel at the creamery.
During my break between classes, I updated my resume and posted it on compass to get it looked at for internships. It was approved, so now I'm set on there. My GPA is apparently a 3.85, don't know how I'm keeping it that high. Also during that break, since my Lab Consultant job will count as an internship, I looked into that, and checked that the hours I already worked will count towards the 300 hours you have to work for an internship. They will, so now I'm set. I just need to fill out the paperwork and figure out what my project will be.
After more limits in Math 110, I went to the gym and ran for a good solid 15-16 minutes and did some ab exercises after that, since I'm trying to lose this gut of mine.
Lunch was light. I had a sandwich and salad, and some glasses of water.
Plans for the evening involve doing the optional math homework so I'm ready for the quiz tomorrow morning. I should get that done during work. Tonight, before my senior con shift, will be time to enjoy myself.
-Mike
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[25 Jan 2009|11:07pm] |
Dear Journal,
Tomorrow begins a new chapter of my college life. Ever since college began this year, I've been doing a horrible job of taking care of myself. I've grown lax on schoolwork, stopped focusing so hard on my major, let myself eat too much, drank too much soda, and never really worked out once blue band ended.
That all changes tomorrow. I'm finally gonna take those problems I had and fix them. I plan to try and get to the gym for atleast a half hour a day, if not a full hour. I'm gonna cut soda completely out (except maybe one day a week) and stick to water and juice. Schoolwork will be done in a timely manner, rather than browsing the internet, and facebook stalking.
Facebook has been an enemy to me this weekend. I have constantly checked people's statuses, profiles, etc. I also wrote on a lot of people's walls today to try and initiate conversation when I was supposed to be doing homework. That stops tomorrow.
Another factor I need to work on is more sleep. I already lose a lot of sleep on the weekends because of my early morning shifts, so now it's really got to be an early to bed experience. I've screwed up my sleep schedule enough in the past, it's time to form a really good habit.
I will also take a serious consideration into whether I'm doing my internship this semester or not. I have plenty of time with ITS to get it done eventually, but maybe I should finish it now. I'll make that decision over the next few days.
Ever since that day, I've been so focused on my situation rather than myself. Once midnight strikes tonight, the most important person in this world is me. I have to get myself back up and in good shape.
I do not know where my future is going, who it will be with, what I'll be doing, but I need to go into it with a positive view of myself.
-Mike Moser
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[25 Jan 2009|02:15pm] |
So, yesterday my parents came up to watch the Penn State vs. Iowa game. They came up ultra early, and upon finishing work, took me, Dan, and Michele out to Texas Roadhouse with them. We had a nice lunch together, and I got a steak, which I ordered "medium well" like usual. I think the lady heard medium rare, because that was DEFINITELY a bloody steak. Was it good? HELL YES! Was I worried about possible undercooked meat related illness? Obviously, but I figured I can sue them if that's the case, because that steak was really good :)
Anyway, Dan and I finished Gears of War 2 finally after lunch, then played online with Mayernick, CJ, and Mike Sassano. We got our asses kicked in the Horde, but it was fun together.
Dan and I left for the basketball game, and I got a great seat for once (I usually show up late and get a bad seat). The game was a nightmare the first half and a lot of the second half, with many moments appearing as if Penn State was going to lose to an opponent we were supposed to beat. After halftime, I went up to see my parents in their box they had (They were in the pepsi box, because my uncle skip has some connection to pepsi). After the game, we went back up there to talk.
After the game, Michele came over, and Dan, her and I watched Anchorman, a great movie, then I went to bed shortly after because I had work at 7:30AM.
This morning at work, I was bored, so I started writing on a lot of people's walls, some of whom I maybe should have kept better contact with after high school. I also added a lot of my fellow senior consultants and classmates over the pass few days to facebook. Now I'm just trying to get homework done...
This week is gonna be a busy one!
-Mike
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[24 Jan 2009|10:31am] |
I don't know what's wrong with me...
Somedays, I'm Mr. Brightside, and I'm extremely optimistic. I think to myself, everything is gonna be ok. If things do work out, life will be great. If things don't work out, you can find something new. I think like this, and I smile. This is the side of me I wish I could keep, the side that passes through some rare moments (last saturday, thursday, and Friday). My optimistic side would be nice to have all the time.
However, it doesn't always remain optimistic. Sometimes I feel the weight of the world upon me, and I'm breaking under the pressure. I try to get schoolwork done, but it sits there, unimportant to me when everything else is much more relevant. This is the side that wonders about my future... where will I be? with whom? will I be successful? This side makes me feel helpless, like I'm bound and gagged as I watch a video unfold before me, unable to hit the stop button or rewind.
I talked to my mother today, and the same advice was repeated... focus on yourself. I know it's something I need to do, but my personality is bent in a way that all I do is care for others.
If I could just kill this pessimistic side, and let my optimistic self reign supreme, life would be much easier to face with my head held up high. I want to be there for others, I want to be supportive of their decisions, I want to be that guy... I need to be myself...
-Mike
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[23 Jan 2009|02:34pm] |
The sun is rising on a new day!
Well, I've let my homework slip this week due to lack of focus, but I'm starting to get caught up now. Have a little bit of reading for SRA I'll work on during my senior con shifts this weekend, when there's only like 3 labs open. I also will get my IST 210 proposal finished and my religious studies essay written by atleast Sunday afternoon. I wanted to go out a little bit this weekend, but it doesn't look like any plans are working out, so I'll have to postpone that idea I suppose.
To give a little more insight...
RL ST 001: HATE HATE HATE HATE this class so far. It seems like it may get better once we start talking about actual religions (next week), but for now it's annoying just talking about tolerance and why we study religion...
MATH 110: I haven't had math in FOUR years, and it's sort of foreign to me now, but it's quickly coming back. We did functions pretty much most of last week, and now getting into limits, which I have quickly remembered about, so I feel confident on that. I just hope I can pick it all up as I go and not have to really rack my brain in remembering.
MICRB 106: I had Microbiology back in high school, and I actually remember a good deal of that, so this class is going pretty easily so far. He doesn't go over everything that will be on the test in class, so I have to study extra stuff, but he's definitely a nice guy and I should enjoy this class.
SRA 231: Very interesting class, but seems like it may get difficult. Tests your analytic skills to the max as we take real world examples and analyze them to decide on certain components. Very interesting, but could get VERY difficult.
IST 210: Not a bad class either. He tells us not to be on the computers during lecture, but everyone does and he doesn't stop us, so why not. It's not too bad now, he's not a dry lecturer and makes it a little fun. Databasing does get boring though...
As for my weekend, things are looking pretty good. Saturday I work my 7:30AM-11:30AM, and then finally get to see my parents. I think we're going out to Texas Roadhouse for lunch, then I have the game that evening (which they're also going to). Men's Bball vs. Iowa. Should be good, as our men's team is really good this year. Saturday night will probably be a night in the room, as I haven't found any plans for that night yet.
Sunday is another 7:30-11:30AM shift, then afterwards I'll probably do brunch with people, followed by a 2-4PM normal work shift. Then I'm free for the evening. No idea what I'm doing Sunday evening, but it will probably involve more catching up on missed schoolwork.
That's about it!
-Mike
"We'll have Halloween on Christmas"
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[21 Jan 2009|10:12am] |
Friday was a rough night, Saturday brought hope, Sunday crushed it, Monday was a day of understanding, and Tuesday was a day to start rebuilding.
I don't want to elaborate on the past few days. It's not worth wasting anyone's time with, and it probably isn't best to dwell on it. It's no doubt that I'm a broken man right now and struggling to get by. There's a constant weight on me, that occasionally lifts, but sinks right back down. Sleep is torturous, dreams are nightmares.
Besides me being depressed, I've begun to look up. I have a great group of friends up here that are really pulling me through. I'm getting actively involved in things on campus to keep my mind focused on other things. For example, Monday night I got back into SRA club by attending a general meeting and I'm signed up for 3 projects. I'm working on wardriving, a book for incoming SRA students, and Project Minerva: A project combining the aspects of Second Life and The Sims to try and create an experience. Working in conjunction with google maps, it is an idea to hopefully allow us to understand other cultures/religions.
Yesterday, I watched history with the inauguration of our first black president. It was a great moment, and I'm truly optimistic that Obama can help build our nation up again. Classes blew though. In Math, I think I did will on my first quiz, but I've gotten so bad at math after not having it in over 3 years. I really gotta work hard to get it back. Micro, we just watched a video about Louis Pasteur. SRA and IST were rough, as I could not bring myself to focus. I talked to her about how I felt, and that seemed to help, but I got very bitter and angry that evening. I don't know why, but I just wanted to hurt others. However, at the game, I did some serious soul searching, and realized that hurting others is not what I need at this time.
Today, I have math still, and this afternoon is dedicated to getting my religious studies homework done and catching up on the reading I didn't do this weekend. I'll grab dinner with some friends, then go to my work meeting.
My plans for the rest of the week: I haven't been playing videogames, and I don't think I'm gonna. For some reason, my mind says I don't need them anymore, and I'm gonna try not to play them for as long as I can. I have a few more days of class to get through, then there's work. I'm hoping to go out friday and saturday night, not to really party persay, but to start meeting new people. I also plan to get a gym membership, and try to drop all the extra weight I have. I haven't been eating like normal, so with a reduced appetite, it may be a good time to drop it.
-Mike
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| Current Mood: Lonely |
[12 Oct 2008|01:36pm] |
Sometimes, it's probably a bad idea to post your thoughts and emotions on the internet, for the world to see. Sometimes, it can come back to haunt you. However, I just don't care this time, as most people that I wouldn't want to see this journal won't see it simply because they don't browse my livejournal anymore. So, I'm gonna go ahead and post them anyway...
Since my return to Penn State, I've taken care of a lot of business:
1. Nabbed an apartment for next year
2. Went to a pro expo at IST where I could hand out resumes to possible employers and begin getting my name out while seeking an internship.
3. Gotten onto a good SRA team to work on an interesting security project concerning an Emergency Response Vehicle
Things are great and I shouldn't be more happier... but I'm not, and the reason I'm not is Penn State, where being social means you have to go to parties and for the most part, have to participate in the activity at these parties.
To get to these parties, it's normal to be invited, but for the most part, that doesn't include me.
Sure, I went to a sectional the saturday before classes started and had a great time, having to leave early only due to work the following morning. I also got invited up to Mt. Nittany as another sectional and had fun there as well. Other than that? Nothing... nothing at all... I have received no other invites.
When it comes to friends, it's a rare occurrence that I receive an invite anywhere. Sure, invites aplenty for lunch and dinner, but we do that all the time. At night, I count one time when I was invited out somewhere, and that was with Michele to her cousin's. I had to invite myself when I was at Purdue by bugging liz to go along with her and her section. Other than that, when it comes to parties, nothing... nothing at all.
One should not have to depend on sectionals to party... in fact, I've heard that there's been other parties with my section, but only with the people that enjoy partying to the max (a.k.a. drinking, and lots of it). I prefer not to drink, and it's as if I'm punished for it. I've tried to be social... heck, I went with the entire clarinet section, tried to introduce myself to some people, and got my name out there as a nice kid, but will it amount to anything? I have yet to see.
I should be thankful and not greedy... I have an amazing girlfriend who I can tell everything and who, when we talk, makes the world bright again and brings a smile to my face. During the Wisconsin game, which I did watch... alone..., nothing felt right til I talked to her, and the whole phone call left me with a smile on my face. But the simple fact I wasn't invited anywhere for the game last night still hurts me right now... Sure, I got an invite from the trombones... 30 minutes into the game. Thing is, I saw the same person that invited me 45 minutes prior to the game and all he said there was, "hey". That's great, but when a facebook status, one that I wrote out of pure depression, is the only way to get an invite, then things are wrong.
In conclusion, Penn State is not a school I belong at. To survive at Penn State, you apparently need to have friends and need to have a social life. I have my altoona friends, but who else... and sometimes, when all I want to do is go out with my altoona friends, they have other plans. Go figure...
-Mike
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| Things to ponder |
[02 Sep 2008|02:43pm] |
I obviously don't use livejournal that much anymore, but I am more of a journal person and since facebook fails in the blogging/journal field, I'm back to using livejournal (until I find a better blog site)...
Year 2 of college has begun, and what a few weeks it has been. After a grueling band camp, the blue band is consuming my life again, which I do not mind as I enjoy it. The only thing that's nagging me about it right now is checking off music, since I have parts changed for 2 of my songs and I have to relearn them now. Other than that, it's great. I signed up for the ohio state and wisconsin away games, a bunch of president tailgates throughout the home football season, and that's about it.
Speaking of college, I am sick of classes already... that's said, isn't it? History is a bore because it's like an elementary class, which means it's easy, but boring. STAT is annoying because there are so many things you have to remember to do at certain times throughout the week. SRA 221 is extremely interesting, but the labs and writeups are a bit challenging. IST 220 is a total borefest so far, but I'm sure it will get better once we're past the starting stuff.
I need to do my resume, and I need to do it soon. There's career things coming up already, and I'm just neglecting to do it. Therefore, I'm getting a schedule set up for myself. This Sunday, I will finish my SRA projects first, if not done yet, then work on my resume and personal webpage. That's the plan.
Besides all that, there's just a ton of other things in my head... I'll let you guess at them. Topics include: Jess, future, money, jobs, family.
On a positive note, this weekend with Jess was an absolute blast. I love her so much :)
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[17 Dec 2007|09:14am] |
I just finished my Spanish 2 final and have some free time before my computer science final, but before I get back to studying a little bit, I thought I'd do a quick journal update...
Today, I have my computer science final, then work. I'm done after that, but I'll be studying a ton tonight for PSYCH, which is probably the hardest exam I'll have, just cuz his exams are TOUGH!
So tomorrow, I have my PSYCH exam from 12:20-2:10, and then I'm free! Glorious academic freedom! No school work again til January 14 :)
Over break, this is my CONFIRMED schedule of activities...
December 19-26: Free time! Lots of it, but Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are both holidays, so I don't know how much anyone will really be hanging out those days :P. The 26th is probably gonna be a Jess and I day, because I love her, but she's still my xbox 360 and guitar hero 3 if I have it...
December 27-30: To Texas I go! I'll be gone during these days as I'm down in Texas preparing for the Alamo Bowl. The game is the 29th of December at 7PM CST, so it should be 8PM back up in Altoona. If you have a chance... watch it! We may be televised marching!
December 31st-1st: New Years Eve... more time with Jess... New Years Day
January 2nd: I have the day free, but at night, I'll be going to play a basketball game at the BJC. I have requested 2 tickets as compensation, but they're already taken as of now, sorry!
January 3rd-9th: More free time :)
January 10th: Another basketball game! This time, the 2 tickets I requested are NOT taken yet, so feel free to ask for them if you want! It's in the evening again, so the day will be free!
January 11th: Last day home... moving back up at night... :(
January 12th-13th: Mandatory training for my lab consultant job from 9-5 each day... oh well, atleast I get paid for that :)
January 14th: Classes begin...
My break will be the greatest before christmas, and get a little hectic after that, but oh well!
Time to study some more for Computer Science... later!
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[14 Dec 2007|09:11am] |
All right, today is officially the last day of classes, and as I write this, my next class is only 2 hours away... so yeah! It's English, but the class consists of handing in my final paper, and all my other big papers, for her to grade the final based on how we improved as writers. I also have to do the usual SRTE (Teacher/class evalutations), but then I'm done.
Then, it's time to celebrate! And what way to celebrate but go out to eat for Michele's birthday, which was Wednesday :P
At 4, I have a Blue Band meeting for packing away our uniforms and instruments and stuff in the truck for their move to Texas, so of course I gotta go to that!
After that, I'll be talking to my wonderful Jess at some point, and then working from 10-midnight... NO I will NOT cover an hour and a half for someone else... Don't feel like working all night again!
Saturday, I got a basketball game to play at. It's Penn State Men's basketball vs. Denver, and it's apparently a big game as both halves of POTL have to play it instead of it just being a Band A or Band B game. After that game, I'm done for the rest of the day. I'll be hitting the books in preparations for finals.
Sunday, I have to work from 2-4. I may pick up an extra shift and try to work from 2-6 in the same lab. I can probably study while I work as it may be quiet in the lab with everyone preparing for finals, but eh, who knows. I don't know when the Steelers play, but nothing else seems important to me right now than finishing finals and going home for break.
Monday I have my first final (spanish) from 8-9:50, and my second final (Computer Science) from 10:10-12:00, then from there I head straight to work and work until 2. After work, I'm done for the day. May try to sub a shift, but other than that, just studying for PSYCH exam, which is Tuesday.
Tuesday, I have NOTHING but the PSYCH exam from 12:20-2:10, and then I'm done! I don't know exactly when I'm leaving, but I'm shooting a guess at 4 since I guess I'll try to help Dan get home on Tuesday, not Wednesday like he may have had to do due to a lack of a ride.
Once break starts, it will be great. Christmas is only a week after break begins, and the 27th is when I leave for Texas. 3 days of of rigorous practice, performances, maybe some sight seeing?, and a Bowlgame, and I'm home the 30th. 31st is New Year's Eve, and I already have plans. 1st = new years. Then I may play at the Jan. 2nd and Jan 12th bball games up here at state during break. I have to be back up here the 12th, as arrival day is the 13th. I don't have to actually be up here as a student til the 14th, but we have 2 days of lab training that start early on the 13th, so I'm just staying the night up here.
That's it. Break looks to be good!
-Moser
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[07 Dec 2007|10:42pm] |
Random update due to work:
School stuff:
Comp Sci classes left: NONE! (She cancelled next week's classes :P)
English classes left: 3 (2 are revising drafts, last day is final papers hand in, and SRTE's (Evaluating the teacher and whatnot))
SRA: 2 classes left (one is just watching class movies, and the other is SRTE's for this class)
Spanish: 1 class left (taking listening and writing part of final that day)
PSYCH: 2 classes left (normal classes)
That means I only have 8 more classes til classes our over.
Final Exam Schedule:
Monday, December 17th: SPAN 002 8-9:50AM
CMPSC 101 10:10-12PM
Tuesday, December 18th:PSYCH 100 12:20-2:10PM
So, as you can see, I'm officially done at 2:10PM for the rest of the semester. I'm hoping my mom will pick me up 3ish, and that I can be home by 4:30-5 :)
Oh, I also have a meeting Tuesday for lab consultants and practice at Holuba Hall with Blue band afterwards. Halo 2 Packer Challenge is this Monday, where I have to pwn noobs at halo 2. It's 6th floor vs 3rd floor. Friday, Dec. 14 is blue band packing day, where we pack our uniforms, instruments, and such for loading to be taken to Texas. Couple more basketball games this week as well.
But yeah, I'm out... in case I don't update again, happy holidays!
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[03 Dec 2007|09:26am] |
So, I'm sitting in Comp Sci... AGAIN! It just goes to show how much of a waste this class is anyway. So, onto some news?
I was able to get someone to sub my shift on Friday 12/21 in exchange for taking their shift this past saturday, so that leaves me with only having to work on Wednesday, 12/19. I do not know yet what I'm doing there. The tentative plan is that I'm gonna come home on Tuesday night and chill out at home, then go back with maybe my mom on Wednesday to work while she shops downtown or something. It's cool, I don't care. I don't have to stay til friday atleast, and I'll be home atleast Wednesday if not Tuesday.
My final project for SRA is due today, then that class is pretty much over. All homework is done for Spanish, just tests and stuff now for the end of semester. No homework for PSYCH, so no problem. Comp sci assignments are done except for an extra credit assignment if I'd like to do it, and finally, I hand in my last full english paper today, as the one paper left is just a revision essay, taking an essay we already did and going over it.
So, school's pretty much wrapped up, eh?
Jess and I are doing well. We're celebrating an OFFICIAL 2 years on the 21st of this month, but if you don't count my month of stupidity, it's been 34 months. I love her so much! I miss her while she's at Duquesne, but one semester still shows that we are strong as a relationship. If we can make it through Spring, we can make it through anything since Spring will be harder for me atleast to make it home.
Christmas is coming. I'm expecting Guitar Hero 3. I suck at that game, but I'll play it and see if I can get a bit better because I would like to get into it.
Penn State is in the Alamo Bowl. That means that on the 26th, unless something major changes, we will be leaving for the Alamodome in Texas. Good ol' Texas. We'd be flying, so it's cool... no long bus drives! We'll be down there from the 26-29th, and the game is on the 29th. I've also heard there's a battle of the bands on the 27th. After the game on the 29th, we're leaving for home early December 30th, so I'll be home for New Years. Jess is babysitting my xbox360 so she can play guitar hero, lol.
That's about it. Fall semester is almost over. Then just one more semester of college before a nice LONG break. After doing summer session, I havne't had a big break, so in May, I get a 3 full month one and a vacation :).
Well, that's it... I'm out! Later
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[15 Nov 2007|07:46pm] |
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Well, I'm almost done getting stuff put together for my group's video project. Yeah, it's almost done. Oh, but wait, I'm forced to sit in this lab for however long it takes for this large group of friends, who are just on FACEBOOK in the middle of a computer WORK lab. Yes, this lab is an official work lab, and I can't record the audio I need because my mic is picking up their talking. The guy in charge isn't doing his job either...
But I digress... break is about to start. I got my exam grade back for EXAM 2 in spanish, and got a 46.5 out of 50. I also got my current grade, which was a 96.8 something, so yeah, as long as I break a 95%, I "A" that class. SRA the video project could be DONE, but I can't right now of course... English I just have 2 homework sheets that I'm doing tomorrow afternoon. CMP SC I'm fine on, unless she gives homework for the break. Then PSYCH never has homework...
So, with break about to start, almost no homework (I have a current events essay for SRA to do, but it shouldn't take long), and a lot of free time, I'm really excited. I get to see Jess on Saturday, then later, there's the Penn State game. Sunday has the steeler game, but other than that, my time is split up Jess/family/friends, and most to Jess for obvious reasons.
I know break will go fast, but one of my missions during break is to get all my christmas shopping done. A daunting task, but I'm gonna be armed and ready on Black Friday to go out for whatever I need. I already have my mom taken care of for the most part, so that helps. Plus over break, I'm buying a new Wii game for myself to bring back up, maybe a 360 game/DS game if I find a good black friday sale.
But yeah, break is gonna be great. I'm trying to atleast hang out with everyone one day, but Jess takes precedence, sorry!
OH! I almost forgot! There's also a get-together with Kristin... so yeah, it will be an exciting break!
Now, it would get started right if these people would QUIT FUCKING TALKING!
Bye :)
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[07 Nov 2007|12:57pm] |
I know noone reads these things anymore, but I feel procrastination is required at this point, plus I'm just sick of school.
So, anyway. We beat Purdue! Go State!, and now it's "Go State! Beat TEMPLE!", and if they don't, I'll simply laugh.
School is going well. Got a 90/100 on my second PSYCH exam, much better than the 76/100 on the first. Ratemyprofessor.com was NOT wrong when they said that his exams were tough, and the first one got me prepared. I also have 5/6 hours of research finished, with the last hour waiting to be finished online. I'll probably do 2 extra hours for extra credit when blue band ends because well... I'll have more time? I'm happy with a B or B+ in that class, as it isn't a major deal to me whether I do well in these major required classes, as long as I don't get a C.
Onto English... fucking hate English. I'm averaging a B without participation, and with participation, I should boost to possibly an A-. However, this most recent paper was freaking difficult, so expect that to be a C, dropping me back down to a B average, I think... oh well.... just gotta survive that as well.
Comp Sci I'm well off in because the assignments are easy, she gave a freaking 40-point extra credit assignment that I got the full extra 40 points on... so yeah. I have my second "midterm" of that class tomorrow, and I'll be studyign so I stay over 100% in that class :P
Spanish 2 is fine... my homework assignments are real easy, my writings get about 9.5 or 10 out of 10 each time, and the exam we've had, i got a 49.5/50 on it. However, this most recent exam that I took yesterday scared me, but luckily, I've got a nice cushion. Should be a 4.0 grade for that class.
Finally, SRA 111. I've decided on SRA as my major, so this class does matter, and thankfully... Gerry doesn't make it too hard to get an A. Already got 97/100 and 99/100 on my 2 hands on labs that took me... an hour? Then his quizzes, where he asks 6 questions, drops one so you only need 5 for a 100... I've gotten atleast 5/5 each time. Plus, when I do fuck one up, he drops one quiz for each student, so he'd drop the bad one obviously. Video project is coming along ok, and if it's graded like IST 110, it will be out of 30, which is nothign compared to the rest of the points I have... easy A.
So, besides school, my schedule for next semester is up...
SRA 211 (no Professor Santoro time... may be harder... oh well, I need to deal. It IS my major :P)
PL SC 001 ( Political Science... it may be interesting me, but I guess not. I'll give it my best attention. Teacher is rated all right on ratemyprofessors.com... only taking this class cuz I need it for SRA major)
SPAN 003 (finishing off my Foreign Language requirements for college will be great, and it appears it will be just like SPAN 002 is now... just hopefully a nice professor)
ECON 002 (have to take for my major, misewell get it out of the way. Heard the class is easy, and teacher is rated all right)
ASTRO 001 (Taking this to help knock off the gen ed science credits my major doesn't already hit... teacher is supposed to be AWESOME... exams are right out of homework I've heard, and labs are the only annoying part, but there's only TWO of them :))
MUSIC 079 (aka... basketball pep band... POTL (Pride of the Lions)... Doing this to keep myself playing... but I don't like basketball... who knows, maybe I'll start liking it after this!)
So, yeah, that's it for school... break starts next friday, but I have to stay to work 10-midnight at Pollock taht night, so I'll be out of here Saturday. Jess is coming to get me :D! It will be awesome to see her again... we haven't seen each other for a month as of the 13th... Then thanksgiving break is all cool.
Well, I be out... if you read, comment... if you don't, then you didn't see this obviously... back to finishing spanish homework for me!
-Moser
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